Finally, after 2 gruelling months, I've managed to show myself online again! My PC has been resurrected from the dead (he is risen!) and I'm still enjoying the internet before I start the tedious process of reinstalling my accessories/hardware...
Pero inaantok na naman ako. SYET!
hehe. procrastination at its finest!
bukas na lang ulit.
P.S.
thanks sa mga bumati. and keep on praying for our friends taking the med boards! =) my future depends on it! ;)
Friday, August 11, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
and yet i'm still afraid to let it flow...
I've been quite retentive lately (not anal but more, uh, "urethral"). Apart from an infection i got due to my serious non-water drinking (i could pass the entire day away without a drop of water to drink) which caused my body to stop my pee midstream because it was excruciatingly painful (ok tama na ang oversharing), I have also stopped myself from blogging for some time even if I had tons to write about. I think it's because of my odd body clock that wants to be creative in the wee hours of the morning but is stifled by the conventional period of slumber of my family.
Sometimes I just have the perfect song, story or funny line in my head and then I turn on the computer. As it starts up I find it convenient to go to the bathroom for a shower or sit on the toilet, and when I emerge from there I realise an hour has passed, the lights are turned off, the 3-hour timed aircon has stopped, my sister is in Stage 1 of NREM sleep, hoping that I would finally stop tapping my fingers on the keyboard so she could jump to REM.
And I lose the desire to publish my brillant thoughts and shut the pc down, thinking that tomorrow I would have time.
But no, since I slept late I would be groggy in the morning, sluggish at work and get home late again and wishing for more sleep. Add to that the fact that my ideas have vanished into thin air and will not come back like a vivid dream that's kicked out of your head because you were shock-woken by frenzied dogs' barks right outside your bedroom window.
And now I've finally controlled the urge for forty winks and am now blogging, pero late na.
So bukas na lang ang tunay na kwento.
Gusto ko na either lumipat ng kwarto at i-rewire ang dsl sa guestroom para pwede akong magtype/magsurf magdamag without worrying about making too much noise and hampering my sister's success at deep sleep OR bumili ng laptop para di kailangang umuwi at mapirmi sa bahay para lang makasulat!
Pero sa ngayon, gusto ko lang matulog na ulit.
Sometimes I just have the perfect song, story or funny line in my head and then I turn on the computer. As it starts up I find it convenient to go to the bathroom for a shower or sit on the toilet, and when I emerge from there I realise an hour has passed, the lights are turned off, the 3-hour timed aircon has stopped, my sister is in Stage 1 of NREM sleep, hoping that I would finally stop tapping my fingers on the keyboard so she could jump to REM.
And I lose the desire to publish my brillant thoughts and shut the pc down, thinking that tomorrow I would have time.
But no, since I slept late I would be groggy in the morning, sluggish at work and get home late again and wishing for more sleep. Add to that the fact that my ideas have vanished into thin air and will not come back like a vivid dream that's kicked out of your head because you were shock-woken by frenzied dogs' barks right outside your bedroom window.
And now I've finally controlled the urge for forty winks and am now blogging, pero late na.
So bukas na lang ang tunay na kwento.
Gusto ko na either lumipat ng kwarto at i-rewire ang dsl sa guestroom para pwede akong magtype/magsurf magdamag without worrying about making too much noise and hampering my sister's success at deep sleep OR bumili ng laptop para di kailangang umuwi at mapirmi sa bahay para lang makasulat!
Pero sa ngayon, gusto ko lang matulog na ulit.
buwiset.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
i couldn't find the words to say how we are so MFEO!
which is why you should just check out the website on the title. *drool*
this one is ok, too...and it comes in purple!
or this one, which looks more professional-like than the previous one, which looks too sporty for a non-athlete like me!
but i could settle for this cute one, too, if the ones above are waaay too expensive for me. ok na rin naman kahit walang expandable memory -- i've got a digicam and an ipod mini, so i might as well us this mainly for its phone features (though it being a fashionable item isn't so bad either).
kelan kaya magiging available ang mga ito sa greenhills? gusto ko na i-trade in ang cellphone ko! sana hindi ito maudlot this time...or worse, mabili ko yan and then another better unit comes along (which is highly likely) =(
the thing with me is that for cellphones i'm not one to change units regularly. only when i need to (like the time mine got stolen 5 years ago), or when it's free (i.e. i upgrade my plan and a new phone comes with it), do i get a new unit. but i have been pining for the perfect clamshell! 2 years ago i got an SE Z600 and traded it in less than a month for an SE K700i when i thought that versatility of features should come before aesthetics. now that the K700i's been acting up do i miss my beautiful Z600 clamshell! wala pa ring tatalo sa ganda niya...pero wiz benta ang added features niya talaga!
so, tama pala yung desisyon kong i-time deposit for 1 month ang naipon ko...para makuha ko na ulit yung funds in a few weeks and hopefully it'll be enough for any of these phones!!!!
Friday, May 19, 2006
ang mga kaibigan ko, drowing.
drawing uploaded from www.naturalchild.com
haay. buti na lang may mga natuloy akong lakad dahil sa ilang mga kaladkaring napulot ko...sa lahat ng barkada ko kasi, mas nauudlot yung mga planadong labas kaysa sa biglaan. e ang kaso mahirap biglain kung ang lakad may kasamang bus and boat ride to the beach! at dahil sa katipiran, hindi rin naman sulit kung 2 or 3 lang kayo pupunta so syempre maghihintay ka para pwede lahat...pero wala rin! kainis diba? tapos malaman-laman mo sila nakapunta na pala kung saan-saan... =(
napapaisip tuloy ako -- ako, maayos ang trabaho , ok naman ang sweldo, may mga binabayarang obligasyon pero nakakaraos naman, tapos hindi ako nakakapagtravel nang madalas dahil naiisip ko yung gastos; samantalang may mga kaibigan ako na walang trabaho o mas kaunti ang kinikita pero nakakapunta sa mga lugar na pinapangarap ko pa lang puntahan. hindi naman sa pagiging inggitera (o sige na nga kasama na rin yon), pero talagang ipinagtataka ko yun: bakit ako di ko kayang gawin yun? at nakuha ko ang sagot: kasi hindi ko piniling gawin yun. kaya ngayon, kung gusto kong lumabas at lumakbay nang malayo, gagawin ko na. kahit ako lang!
sya. itutulog ko na muna ito at bigla akong napagod sa kakaplano at kaka-undo ng plano. NEXT!
Monday, April 17, 2006
not like I faint every time we touch...
you're humming to yourself, aren't you? vanilla skies...white picket fences in your eyes...
***
segue muna ako sa walang kinalaman...we were singing for the Good Friday mass and we were tasked to do the "Crowd" role in the Passion Gospel kasi kulang sa missalette at hindi nalagay sa powerpoint guide for the congregation. A resourceful choirmate copied the lines on his cellphone via text so we could all participate, and everything went well until we asked Simon Peter:
waaah! feel na feel ko pa naman!
bow. now back to the program...
***
You know how it is when you tell someone about a crush and then all of a sudden the excitement disappears and you feel nothing at all anymore?
Ayun. That's what happened to me and my little story. Buti naman. Sa ka-iintriga ng mga tao namatay tuloy at mukhang hindi na mabubuhay pa ulit...perhaps it's also the non-fun of it being so secret, so unusual and so out-of-myself (to this day, nobody got to know who he was, and even if I named him no one would still know him!) that let the air out of the puny day-old balloon that was the almost-crush of my post-adolescent life.
In the spirit of things I even talked to P about bumping into an old classmate's website -- well, actually, I proactively searched for the guy on friendster (lekat na friendster talaga o!) and found him and his blog there. After reading some old entries I really got to thinking that perhaps we could've been friends if I allowed myself to go up to him and introduce myself. Back then in school, he seemed like the mysterious, stuck-in-books, reserved type. I figured, he probably wouldn't be the least bit interested in me. Reading about him now gave me a clearer picture of him and made me think otherwise...kapal noh? But I mean that in all platonic honesty. He's got not a few similarities to a bunch of guys I was close to before, and given my vulnerability at the time, it was highly likely that I would've even seriously fallen for him if I got to know him better (heck, I remember gushing about his name! his name sounded like music to my ears! I would tell my non-school chums about him like a child, as though he were an imaginary friend!). He was like my Damon Bradley that I would someday meet and who knows, would turn out to be my destiny...syempre uso noon ang "Only You" kaya gumaya naman daw ako!
But fate took an interesting turn and made me fall for the friend I least expected to fall for. He would laugh at my jokes and didn't mind me swooning over someone else I knew nothing about save for a name I peeked at from the attendance list. At the end of that class we'd go to SM North Edsa to watch funny, corny and downright trashy movies together and enjoyed every minute of all of them. We camped out in ISMED to watch a meteor shower, marveled at the city lights viewed atop Kelly Heights one blackout night, explored the mystical books and trinkets at Aura Cafe while being the only audience (unmindful and unattentive at that) of Ciudad who was playing unfamiliar originals. He was my tag-along-anywhere buddy.
And he remains to be the one I dream of going with everywhere.
So now, after 6 years of committed contentment, I chance upon the goofy pictures and published times of the guy I wore short shorts and high-heeled sandals for in class. Well?
I'm still contented.
Hahaha. Crushes.
Sometimes the one who doesn't make your heart skip a beat turns out to be the one that keeps it beating for the rest of your life.
***
segue muna ako sa walang kinalaman...we were singing for the Good Friday mass and we were tasked to do the "Crowd" role in the Passion Gospel kasi kulang sa missalette at hindi nalagay sa powerpoint guide for the congregation. A resourceful choirmate copied the lines on his cellphone via text so we could all participate, and everything went well until we asked Simon Peter:
"You are not one of His disciples, are you not?"
waaah! feel na feel ko pa naman!
bow. now back to the program...
***
You know how it is when you tell someone about a crush and then all of a sudden the excitement disappears and you feel nothing at all anymore?
Ayun. That's what happened to me and my little story. Buti naman. Sa ka-iintriga ng mga tao namatay tuloy at mukhang hindi na mabubuhay pa ulit...perhaps it's also the non-fun of it being so secret, so unusual and so out-of-myself (to this day, nobody got to know who he was, and even if I named him no one would still know him!) that let the air out of the puny day-old balloon that was the almost-crush of my post-adolescent life.
In the spirit of things I even talked to P about bumping into an old classmate's website -- well, actually, I proactively searched for the guy on friendster (lekat na friendster talaga o!) and found him and his blog there. After reading some old entries I really got to thinking that perhaps we could've been friends if I allowed myself to go up to him and introduce myself. Back then in school, he seemed like the mysterious, stuck-in-books, reserved type. I figured, he probably wouldn't be the least bit interested in me. Reading about him now gave me a clearer picture of him and made me think otherwise...kapal noh? But I mean that in all platonic honesty. He's got not a few similarities to a bunch of guys I was close to before, and given my vulnerability at the time, it was highly likely that I would've even seriously fallen for him if I got to know him better (heck, I remember gushing about his name! his name sounded like music to my ears! I would tell my non-school chums about him like a child, as though he were an imaginary friend!). He was like my Damon Bradley that I would someday meet and who knows, would turn out to be my destiny...syempre uso noon ang "Only You" kaya gumaya naman daw ako!
But fate took an interesting turn and made me fall for the friend I least expected to fall for. He would laugh at my jokes and didn't mind me swooning over someone else I knew nothing about save for a name I peeked at from the attendance list. At the end of that class we'd go to SM North Edsa to watch funny, corny and downright trashy movies together and enjoyed every minute of all of them. We camped out in ISMED to watch a meteor shower, marveled at the city lights viewed atop Kelly Heights one blackout night, explored the mystical books and trinkets at Aura Cafe while being the only audience (unmindful and unattentive at that) of Ciudad who was playing unfamiliar originals. He was my tag-along-anywhere buddy.
And he remains to be the one I dream of going with everywhere.
So now, after 6 years of committed contentment, I chance upon the goofy pictures and published times of the guy I wore short shorts and high-heeled sandals for in class. Well?
I'm still contented.
Hahaha. Crushes.
Sometimes the one who doesn't make your heart skip a beat turns out to be the one that keeps it beating for the rest of your life.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
quid est veritas?
Happy Easter to you all!
The quote above is a Vulgate ("street") Latin translation of Pontius Pilate's question to Jesus: "What is truth?". I thought about a lot of "truths" during the Holy Week, especially at the Paschal Triduum:
The quote above is a Vulgate ("street") Latin translation of Pontius Pilate's question to Jesus: "What is truth?". I thought about a lot of "truths" during the Holy Week, especially at the Paschal Triduum:
- Palm Sunday - went to a recollection and mostly prayed using the Ignatian method known as contemplation, or imagining a scene from Scripture and putting oneself as one of the characters. We focused on the Last Supper scene and I was particularly moved by the insight that everyone, not only Jesus and the Twelve, but even the female cooks and handmaidens, were blessed and given importance. Then, I watched The Gospel of Judas on National Geographic and pondered on the possibility that Jesus Himself asked Judas Iscariot to prepare for His suffering and ultimate death in order to "sacrifice the man that clothes" Him. Again, there was an interesting insight from the show: even then, during the early days, there have been many interpretations of Christianity, and the discovery of this text gives us the idea that there once had been a group of Christians who thought that the relationship between Jesus Christ and Judas was significant, and that they were able to celebrate and glorify the existence of Judas.
- Holy Wednesday - went out to dinner with a few people at the branch and expressed our thoughts on the officer reshuffle at the back office. I felt it was timely, given the fact that it's Holy Week and we should think about forgiveness. Some of us thought otherwise and felt she deserved the Calvary she got herself into. Anyway, it will end with her transferring and I'm hopeful that her life will be less, uh, dramatic.
- Maundy Thursday - gone to Bulacan for the family Pasyon or Pabasa and finished chanting at about 5pm. After singing the Tagalog verses, I had an appreciation for the sensual (meant here as intense use of the five senses) nature of the language and how it creates such vivid images of the last days of Christ. It's senakulo on paper! At the same time, it made me think about why it had to be so; it was a form of inculturation, and scriptural scenes had to be interpreted in such a way that it would fit into the mold of the Filipino epic song, with familiar elements such as the "good triumphs over evil" theme, mystical events and legends.
- Good Friday - went to and sang for the Friday service at Gesu (Mass and Way of the Cross). Dad went with Ate to a different service (a Spiritist session) in Malabon to hear reflections on the holy days. He came home asking me about the Gospel of Judas, the Da Vinci Code, and was so excited about the possibility that more people would embrace the philosophy that has fascinated him all his life. This got me thinking: all my life, the religion I furiously defended was carved from readings approved by elders (who insisted the world was flat and prosecuted anyone who thought otherwise), and mindlessly disregarded all other references which they found difficult to understand and thus difficult to teach to common people whom they wanted to recruit into the flock. There have been a lot of other perspectives labeled as heresy, thrown to and lost in the wind, and those which remained to this day are still scoffed at, like my dad's, only because it's not included in the canonical gospels and they don't practice it within the fundamental faith.
- Black Saturday - watched a rerun of The Passion Recut, and over lunch Kuya volunteered to buy a pirated DVD of the movie instead of having to watch it right now. I told him, "Kumusta naman ang pagbili ng pirated DVD ng Banal na Kasulatan, noh?", to which he replied, "Eh kumusta din naman na nakakita ka pa ng difference sa pagbili ng pirated DVD ng regular movie at Banal na Kasulatan?" -- nga naman.
- Easter Vigil - read the Second Reading -- a loong narration of the Parting of the Red Sea, and sang the responsorial psalm. Also liked Fr. Arnel's homily on salvation history -- that God has been redeeming His people since the Old Testament, and ultimately sacrifices His Son and resurrects Him in the New Testament, but they still don't get the fact that they have been saved many times over! Fr. Arnel began with telling the Oprah episode where everyone in the audience got a brand new car and found themselves stunned and dumbfounded before it dawned on them that something so wonderful had been unbelievably presented to them. I also bumped into an old friend which started another buzz of gossip in the family car on the way home (but it's not about me!)...I guess one person's suffering is another's redemption.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
sige, patulan ang tag...
got this from Ria.
4 jobs I've had in my life:
a. Personal Banking Officer - current
b. Recruitment Assistant
c. HR Systems Assistant
d. Children's choir teacher (this is not the PYC, btw. I handled kids from 8-12 yrs old -- got paid, too. Awa ng Diyos a lot of them are now in the PYC and I feel sooooo old!!!!)
4 films I can watch over and over:
a. Forget Paris
b. Mga Kwento ni Lola Basyang
c. Big Time
d. Awakenings
4 places I have lived (in):
a. Tierra Pura, QC - current
b. SFDM, QC
c. Miriam College (heck, from nursery to senior high dun na ako e!)
d. hmm. wala na e.
4 TV programs I love to watch: (as in 4 programs my sister lets me watch)
a. Pinoy Big Brother hahahaha (grabe na si Bianca - affected daw ba ako?)
b. Extra Challenge
c. Katoque on QTV Ch11 - ang saya panoorin yung mga young urban chefs (so ano tawag sa kanila? "yuchies"? "yuffies"? hehehehe ampanget)
d. Magandang Umaga Pilipinas - syempre love your own! Wok with Chan ang drama ni kuya na nagbalik-South Beach Diet after having to gain weight in Zsazsa Zaturnnah..
4 places I would have visited had I had the money:
a. the Himalayas
b. the moon (para malaman ko kung hoax ang Apollo 11)
c. New Zealand
d. Palawan (hehehe at least ito palagay ko mapupuntahan ko talaga kung mga 2 months akong hindi gumamit ng credit card...)
4 websites i visit daily:
a. Yahoo! Mail - for yahoogroups updates
b. Gmail - ganun din
c. Yahoo! - somehow I haven't acquired the habit of using Google as a search engine. Parang mas gumagana ito for me.
d. any link on the sites above that catches my fancy
4 of my favorite foods:
a. kahit anong iluto ng nanay ko
b. nissin yakisoba chicken flavor (yung blue) - halos daily breakfast ko sa office, along with
c. pugon pinoy pandesal - found in congressional ave qc beside Mommy's Pancit Malabon and a few blocks away from Circle C mall na katabi ng Cherry Fooderama -- OA ba sa directions? I swear you have to try it! still at 2 bucks apiece, it's great kahit walang palaman...eons better than the pan de manila variety
d. max's fried chicken
4 places where I would want to die:
a. at home, from a terminal illness that hasn't affected any of my senses para slow and dramatic ang aking paglipas wahahaha
b. other than that, anywhere else basta patay ako agad at hindi ako mahihirapan
c. note lang, parang ayoko yata mamatay in my husband's arms...kawawa naman siya naunahan ko pa...unless sabay kami mamamatay at malalaki na yung mga anak namin
4 people (living/dead) who you want to meet:
a. The Creator - nga naman.
b. some guy i shared a class with in college whom i never had the guts to introduce myself to
c. my paternal grandfather - napanood niyang mabaril si Rizal sa Bagumbayan, now Luneta (yep, my lolo was alive and of age during the Spanish period)
d. my paternal grandmother, whose cooking was legendary in Malabon
4 Places Ive been on Vacation (the last four)
a. Batangas
b. Tagaytay
c. Hong Kong
d. Bangkok, Thailand
4 Places I would Rather Be Right Now
a. with P
b. in heaven - yeah, i know it's not a place but a state of being, but, well, taken loosely...
c. happily retired with my retirement pay invested well enough to live off the returns - speaking of state of being, ito na rin
d. just home without worrying about earning enough
4 People I Wanna Tag (naku, hirap nito...not too many people read my blog, so...)
a. jen-c (mauto kaya ulit?)
b. jowi (ayan nakabawi rin!)
c. joa
d. kathy t
4 jobs I've had in my life:
a. Personal Banking Officer - current
b. Recruitment Assistant
c. HR Systems Assistant
d. Children's choir teacher (this is not the PYC, btw. I handled kids from 8-12 yrs old -- got paid, too. Awa ng Diyos a lot of them are now in the PYC and I feel sooooo old!!!!)
4 films I can watch over and over:
a. Forget Paris
b. Mga Kwento ni Lola Basyang
c. Big Time
d. Awakenings
4 places I have lived (in):
a. Tierra Pura, QC - current
b. SFDM, QC
c. Miriam College (heck, from nursery to senior high dun na ako e!)
d. hmm. wala na e.
4 TV programs I love to watch: (as in 4 programs my sister lets me watch)
a. Pinoy Big Brother hahahaha (grabe na si Bianca - affected daw ba ako?)
b. Extra Challenge
c. Katoque on QTV Ch11 - ang saya panoorin yung mga young urban chefs (so ano tawag sa kanila? "yuchies"? "yuffies"? hehehehe ampanget)
d. Magandang Umaga Pilipinas - syempre love your own! Wok with Chan ang drama ni kuya na nagbalik-South Beach Diet after having to gain weight in Zsazsa Zaturnnah..
4 places I would have visited had I had the money:
a. the Himalayas
b. the moon (para malaman ko kung hoax ang Apollo 11)
c. New Zealand
d. Palawan (hehehe at least ito palagay ko mapupuntahan ko talaga kung mga 2 months akong hindi gumamit ng credit card...)
4 websites i visit daily:
a. Yahoo! Mail - for yahoogroups updates
b. Gmail - ganun din
c. Yahoo! - somehow I haven't acquired the habit of using Google as a search engine. Parang mas gumagana ito for me.
d. any link on the sites above that catches my fancy
4 of my favorite foods:
a. kahit anong iluto ng nanay ko
b. nissin yakisoba chicken flavor (yung blue) - halos daily breakfast ko sa office, along with
c. pugon pinoy pandesal - found in congressional ave qc beside Mommy's Pancit Malabon and a few blocks away from Circle C mall na katabi ng Cherry Fooderama -- OA ba sa directions? I swear you have to try it! still at 2 bucks apiece, it's great kahit walang palaman...eons better than the pan de manila variety
d. max's fried chicken
4 places where I would want to die:
a. at home, from a terminal illness that hasn't affected any of my senses para slow and dramatic ang aking paglipas wahahaha
b. other than that, anywhere else basta patay ako agad at hindi ako mahihirapan
c. note lang, parang ayoko yata mamatay in my husband's arms...kawawa naman siya naunahan ko pa...unless sabay kami mamamatay at malalaki na yung mga anak namin
4 people (living/dead) who you want to meet:
a. The Creator - nga naman.
b. some guy i shared a class with in college whom i never had the guts to introduce myself to
c. my paternal grandfather - napanood niyang mabaril si Rizal sa Bagumbayan, now Luneta (yep, my lolo was alive and of age during the Spanish period)
d. my paternal grandmother, whose cooking was legendary in Malabon
4 Places Ive been on Vacation (the last four)
a. Batangas
b. Tagaytay
c. Hong Kong
d. Bangkok, Thailand
4 Places I would Rather Be Right Now
a. with P
b. in heaven - yeah, i know it's not a place but a state of being, but, well, taken loosely...
c. happily retired with my retirement pay invested well enough to live off the returns - speaking of state of being, ito na rin
d. just home without worrying about earning enough
4 People I Wanna Tag (naku, hirap nito...not too many people read my blog, so...)
a. jen-c (mauto kaya ulit?)
b. jowi (ayan nakabawi rin!)
c. joa
d. kathy t
and when i'm feeling blue, and i want you...
In the midst of meeting my month target, an office crisis and freak clients gravitating towards my desk every other hour this week, I found myself giggling like a high school freshman talking to a boy over the phone for the first time.
magaling ka kung na-click mo ito.
Perhaps it was because it reminded me of how I used to crush on the quiet ones. Ah, ewan. Basta alam ko wala itong kinalaman whatsoever sa aking couplehood. wahahaha! ang defensive.
O sha. shine na!
magaling ka kung na-click mo ito.
Perhaps it was because it reminded me of how I used to crush on the quiet ones. Ah, ewan. Basta alam ko wala itong kinalaman whatsoever sa aking couplehood. wahahaha! ang defensive.
O sha. shine na!
Monday, January 30, 2006
click here to play a game and win a prize!
nope, that's not a virus. but the game's fun... for a few minutes.
by the way, it's about BIG TIME, the funniest movie i've ever watched since Shrek 2 (not counting the Roderick Paulate reruns on the boob tube). it's still showing at all SM Cinemas, so i do hope you get to catch it. thanks to jen-c who has advertised Big Time again on her blog. i watched it again with her, and i'm willing to watch it again with anyone interested in reviving and revolutionizing the Philippine movie industry, or just for the heck of it.
watchitwatchitwatchit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just reached reached my month goal at work this week. 3 days from now it will be history and i'll be crawling my way with callused palms and skinned knees back to the top because i simply CANNOT miss my goals ever...
but for now, i'm just happy. =)
anyone in need of a personal loan or a credit card? (hahahaha do we reeeeeeeaaallly?) =)
Happy Chinese New Year! swerte kaya ang Goat ('79-ers) in the Year of the Dog?
next!
by the way, it's about BIG TIME, the funniest movie i've ever watched since Shrek 2 (not counting the Roderick Paulate reruns on the boob tube). it's still showing at all SM Cinemas, so i do hope you get to catch it. thanks to jen-c who has advertised Big Time again on her blog. i watched it again with her, and i'm willing to watch it again with anyone interested in reviving and revolutionizing the Philippine movie industry, or just for the heck of it.
watchitwatchitwatchit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
************
i just reached reached my month goal at work this week. 3 days from now it will be history and i'll be crawling my way with callused palms and skinned knees back to the top because i simply CANNOT miss my goals ever...
but for now, i'm just happy. =)
anyone in need of a personal loan or a credit card? (hahahaha do we reeeeeeeaaallly?) =)
Happy Chinese New Year! swerte kaya ang Goat ('79-ers) in the Year of the Dog?
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
every day's a new day
They say January is more a marrying month in the Philippines than June...methinks it's a toss-up between December and January judging from the number of weddings I've sung for in the transition between '05 and '06 (this picture is not included in my sweeping generalisation of Filipino statistics; the wedding happened in November...). Suffice it to say that if it weren't for good ol' salabat I 'd be sounding like Mary Walter.I'm still a sucker for nuptials, though; P snickers whenever he sees a tear welling up at the corner of my eye during the ceremony. E bakit ba? It's such a touching event, albeit nerve-wracking for those whom it's celebrated for; and I still marvel at the thought of it giving people a practically brand new life after an hour or so of singing, sacraments and shutter-controlled smiles.
Sigh. Such sweet traditions make me feel blessed to be young and alive in this period, in this world. Sana lang maabutan ko ito pag panahon ko na! =)
Thanks, Ina. =)
Sunday, January 15, 2006
i-spell yes, Y-E-S; i-spell no, N-O...
...and out you go!
sige na nga, patulan na ang tag.
terms per jowi are the ff:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.
so, here goes:
2. (inuna ko na ito para hindi na itanong.) target is *STRAIGHT!* male. ayoko maagawan.
1.1. he should love me within the period of time that i love him.
mahirap yung "he should love me" lang kasi baka kung kailan niya ako mamahalin saka pa
ako nawalan ng pagmamahal sa kanya e di ginulo pa niya buhay ko kung ganon!
(mega-explain ba?!?)
1.2. he should have respect for my family and friends, and his family and friends, too.
self-explanatory.
1.3. he should be physically attractive (at least to me).
honestly, i don't go for the Bench model types; i like my men flawed a bit pero basta 10 fingers, 10 toes (but not on the same hand/foot!), 5 senses working well, ok naman ang
skin, no bad BO (kasi may good body odors naman diba?) at mas matangkad sa akin.
1.4. he should be able to make me laugh, and laugh at my jokes!
again, self-explanatory.
1.5. he should have a sense of social responsibility.
tipong he doesn't live or make decisions solely for himself or his own betterment but
also for the "greater good".
1.6. he should have a healthy appreciation for music.
he doesn't have to be a singer or a musical artist, but should be able to
understand my passion for music and even share it.
1.7. he should have a ton of useless trivia/handy information to kill time for small talk.
i just love the radio DJ-types who know bits of stuff that they think no one else knows
and just say aloud out of the blue. it speaks a lot about the range of interests a person has.
1.8. he should be humble enough to accept his mistakes and even make fun of himself.
bwisit talaga ako sa mayabang at hindi tumatanggap ng pagkatalo o pagkapahiya.
3. i tag: gp, jeline, ria, jen-c, ina, bianca, joa and kathy. basically i tagged all those whose blogs i read except for jowi who tagged me first and carlo who got tagged already pero kinebs!
actually, medyo corny ang mga sagot ko kasi serious ako sumagot. masyado nga akong mabait kasi hindi ako naniniwala sa konsepto ng perfect lover na pwedeng mag-exist. pero ito lang (at ito totoo): when i read back the 8 points of my perfect lover, i realised i was describing just one guy. and i'm glad he's still with me. =)
corny talaga ng kuntento, noh?
haay. =)
sige na nga, patulan na ang tag.
terms per jowi are the ff:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.
so, here goes:
2. (inuna ko na ito para hindi na itanong.) target is *STRAIGHT!* male. ayoko maagawan.
1.1. he should love me within the period of time that i love him.
mahirap yung "he should love me" lang kasi baka kung kailan niya ako mamahalin saka pa
ako nawalan ng pagmamahal sa kanya e di ginulo pa niya buhay ko kung ganon!
(mega-explain ba?!?)
1.2. he should have respect for my family and friends, and his family and friends, too.
self-explanatory.
1.3. he should be physically attractive (at least to me).
honestly, i don't go for the Bench model types; i like my men flawed a bit pero basta 10 fingers, 10 toes (but not on the same hand/foot!), 5 senses working well, ok naman ang
skin, no bad BO (kasi may good body odors naman diba?) at mas matangkad sa akin.
1.4. he should be able to make me laugh, and laugh at my jokes!
again, self-explanatory.
1.5. he should have a sense of social responsibility.
tipong he doesn't live or make decisions solely for himself or his own betterment but
also for the "greater good".
1.6. he should have a healthy appreciation for music.
he doesn't have to be a singer or a musical artist, but should be able to
understand my passion for music and even share it.
1.7. he should have a ton of useless trivia/handy information to kill time for small talk.
i just love the radio DJ-types who know bits of stuff that they think no one else knows
and just say aloud out of the blue. it speaks a lot about the range of interests a person has.
1.8. he should be humble enough to accept his mistakes and even make fun of himself.
bwisit talaga ako sa mayabang at hindi tumatanggap ng pagkatalo o pagkapahiya.
3. i tag: gp, jeline, ria, jen-c, ina, bianca, joa and kathy. basically i tagged all those whose blogs i read except for jowi who tagged me first and carlo who got tagged already pero kinebs!
actually, medyo corny ang mga sagot ko kasi serious ako sumagot. masyado nga akong mabait kasi hindi ako naniniwala sa konsepto ng perfect lover na pwedeng mag-exist. pero ito lang (at ito totoo): when i read back the 8 points of my perfect lover, i realised i was describing just one guy. and i'm glad he's still with me. =)
corny talaga ng kuntento, noh?
haay. =)
Monday, January 09, 2006
and a rikitikitik and a blue black sheep!
had to be "tagged" to update my blog...but before I shout "Monkey!" to those who know what Annabelle means, plugging muna.
watch Big Time on Jan 25! click on my subject to get to the webpage.
i assure you it's freaking hilarious for the pinoy pop public (i.e. pre-PS2 kids who didn't have cable or PCs then and whiled their time away with local TV, movies and street games)!
bukas na lang ako magsasabi ng aking "tag-lines", hehehe =)
watch Big Time on Jan 25! click on my subject to get to the webpage.
i assure you it's freaking hilarious for the pinoy pop public (i.e. pre-PS2 kids who didn't have cable or PCs then and whiled their time away with local TV, movies and street games)!
bukas na lang ako magsasabi ng aking "tag-lines", hehehe =)
Friday, December 30, 2005
always (posing with) the bridesmaid(s)...
...but unfortunately never (with) the bride!
tama ba namang hindi pala kami nagpakuha ng pic with the bride on my digicam? :)
best wishes, sheila! and long live our barkada! :)
Sunday, November 06, 2005
you'll never know how much you pierce my spirit
The moon in the morning
Is watching the rain turn to snow
And outside my window
Sometimes the rain
Falls harder than you'll ever know
Sometimes the things that you love in the night
The morning will choose to forget
This is my last
My last cigarette
This is my last
Last cigarette
I have a habit that I have been trying to lose
Everyone thinks that they know what they want
But sometime your drug chooses you
There are some things that I've promised myself
Things that I haven't done yet
This is my last,
Last cigarette
This is my last
Last cigarette
Last cigarette
Sometimes the people we love in the night
The morning will choose to forget
This is my last,
Last cigarette
This is my last
Last cigarette
This is my last
Last cigarette
Ok, that's over. But what the hell, I might as well get some other stuff out here, too. di naman lahat pareho :)
I had my share of ghosts this week after different trips to the past. The first was the ghost of Christine past, the one who dutifully prayed the Rosary (with the Litany of the Blessed Mother) every day. I used to think I had such a great obligation to humanity -- I honestly believed that the world would be fine only if I prayed the Rosary at least once a day, and that things would go wrong if I didn't. I stopped the habit in the late nineties and that's when the Asian Crisis occurred and I got into UP. kebs. i'm not blaming UP though. :)
And so it happened that my great-aunt passed away two years ago and I was tasked by the family to lead in praying the Rosary every Nov 1 at the cemetery and during Holy Thursday at the Pabasa, since I was the only one who had enough patience to memorize the Litany. Now my mother still believes I kept the habit and I never made an effort to update her lest she think I've become an atheist like those UP kids (hahaha what a joke), the reason being it's always an advantage to be looked upon as the nice pious daughter (which I believe I still am sometimes -- with much emphasis on "some") so I could be trusted by my parents and my friends' parents who use me as an alibi (wahahaha).
The trouble is every year I'm beginning to forget. My heart beats wildly at the beginning of the Apostle's Creed while I'm struggling to remember every title Mother Mary had; heck, I don't even know the Mysteries of Light! Buti nga yung ibang misteryo alam ko pa kaso ngayon magulo na kung kelan kasi kasama na sa pagbibilang ng araw yung Mysteries of Light na yan! And after the Hail Holy Queen has been prayed, I find myself staring into oblivion and reciting the Litany as if in a trance...and it didn't help that my Tita has this habit of saying "Pray for us" automatically kahit hindi pa ako tapos. panicpanicpanicpanic! Fortunately nasa long-term memory ko pa rin naman yung Litany pero feeling ko umiikli na siya kasi nakakalimutan ko na yung iba, and one of these days I'll lose it completely...and when that day comes, my mom will surely get into a "you don't pray enough" sermon -- the kind my siblings hear -- and she will be crushed. Pakiramdam kasi ng nanay ko ako lang ang nakakaintindi sa kanya at sa sense of religiosity niya...and I wouldn't want her to feel alone in her prayerful life. So, the closed Catholic child in me haunts me every time I'm asked to lead the meditation of the beads.
She followed me to the second reunion party I had with my former choirmates as we celebrated the 10 years of our parish youth council last friday. A priest friend whom I knew since his freshman year at the seminary was there (who incidentally became our assistant parish priest this year), and asked me to go back to helping the new choir develop some sort of formation and commitment he saw in me and our old group. Sabi ko hindi ko na yata magagawa yon para sa kanila; besides, they're getting better every year. I handled that choir for 8 years and I never got them to sing more than two voices; now they're downloading pieces using Noteworthy and actually learning to read notes.
It was also at this party where I encountered another ghost. Funny I never really thought he'd show up again but he did. He was there the last time (which was a feat by itself) and now he's back. With a cigarette and a plastic cup of red wine waiting for me. I didn't hesitate and I pulled him out of the group and we hung out with 2 more of our old friends for a smoke. I asked him if he missed me. Of course he said yes; he always spoke the words I wanted to hear -- only this time I was careful not to believe too much (or is it that I don't care at all if it were true or not?). Around 1am while we were still gulping beers I asked to go ahead of them (I gave my sister permission to stay as her boyfriend was there to bring her home naman). Our gracious doctor hostess led me to the gate and he trotted along to bid me goodnight with a polite beso. And so I left with a smile -- but not looking back nor waiting for a chance to be alone with him -- as I was off to a few hours of sleep before I would drive to V Luna in the morning and take P home with me.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'...
...into the future. and right back to reality! AAAHHH!!! work starts anew!
another long weekend has flown by with nothing much happening but too many things planned -- though i must say 3 unplanned events made up for it in terms of personal gratification but they aren't really worth talking about. to those planned events i failed to show up for or didn't even materialize, my apologies. (now my problem is which barkada reunion i'll be setting up or going to in the next long weekend!)
at least nakatulog rin ako for the most part of that vacation. kaso what i hate is all saints' day being at the tailend of this break and being the most tiring day at that. imagine going to 2 cemeteries, spending at least 4 hours on each (not counting travel time) which means we'll be up by 6am and reach home by 8pm. and i am still not sleeping to prepare for this day!!!!
* * * * * *
was driving with my sister to hangad practice last week and we chanced upon a remake of Seal's Crazy and I couldn't believe my ears -- it was Alanis Morissette! The one thought in my head was which cd it was available because I know all her albums bear all-original tacks (save for jagged little pill acoustic which is a 10th year tribute to her first -- and best -- album to date) and I felt soooo frustrated because it was a good cover, true to the original but still having that glen ballard drive that sounds so familiar it almost seemed like a follow-up to You Oughta Know...I know I'm blabbing too much but I'm really an alanis fan and it's my blog anyway so shut your eyes if you don't want to read on. More on Jagged Little Pill...
...it was such a treat to have the new acoustic album of JLP and revisit the songs after a decade. At 15, I was close to emailing Alanis and telling her how her songs in the debut release of JLP have helped me during my teen years of angst and repressing improprieties...suffice to say that was probably her point in releasing those compositions to the public and I guess millions of 15-21 year-old schoolgirls had the same awakening as I.
The acoustic versions have a feel of "Been there, done that" (or is it more like "Been there, f*** that, how could I have been so stupid" hahaha), and of course given the "unplugged" feel it sounds more relaxed; yet alanis' previously released mtv unplugged album of some of her songs back in 2000 didn't sound like this at all. Methinks it's because she's too old to do the things she used to (we've got Avril Lavigne to cover pretty much of that) and she's happy with Ryan Reynolds so there's no bitter aftertaste to the tracks.
another long weekend has flown by with nothing much happening but too many things planned -- though i must say 3 unplanned events made up for it in terms of personal gratification but they aren't really worth talking about. to those planned events i failed to show up for or didn't even materialize, my apologies. (now my problem is which barkada reunion i'll be setting up or going to in the next long weekend!)
at least nakatulog rin ako for the most part of that vacation. kaso what i hate is all saints' day being at the tailend of this break and being the most tiring day at that. imagine going to 2 cemeteries, spending at least 4 hours on each (not counting travel time) which means we'll be up by 6am and reach home by 8pm. and i am still not sleeping to prepare for this day!!!!
* * * * * *
was driving with my sister to hangad practice last week and we chanced upon a remake of Seal's Crazy and I couldn't believe my ears -- it was Alanis Morissette! The one thought in my head was which cd it was available because I know all her albums bear all-original tacks (save for jagged little pill acoustic which is a 10th year tribute to her first -- and best -- album to date) and I felt soooo frustrated because it was a good cover, true to the original but still having that glen ballard drive that sounds so familiar it almost seemed like a follow-up to You Oughta Know...I know I'm blabbing too much but I'm really an alanis fan and it's my blog anyway so shut your eyes if you don't want to read on. More on Jagged Little Pill...
...it was such a treat to have the new acoustic album of JLP and revisit the songs after a decade. At 15, I was close to emailing Alanis and telling her how her songs in the debut release of JLP have helped me during my teen years of angst and repressing improprieties...suffice to say that was probably her point in releasing those compositions to the public and I guess millions of 15-21 year-old schoolgirls had the same awakening as I.
The acoustic versions have a feel of "Been there, done that" (or is it more like "Been there, f*** that, how could I have been so stupid" hahaha), and of course given the "unplugged" feel it sounds more relaxed; yet alanis' previously released mtv unplugged album of some of her songs back in 2000 didn't sound like this at all. Methinks it's because she's too old to do the things she used to (we've got Avril Lavigne to cover pretty much of that) and she's happy with Ryan Reynolds so there's no bitter aftertaste to the tracks.
Monday, October 31, 2005
i know we're cool
I wasn't supposed to go to this party but i suddenly found myself texting old pals and inviting them to join me last friday. Sure enough, I got to invite at least 2 to keep me company in an otherwise adolescent crowd -- or so I thought. I figured I'd stay for 2 hours tops, unless elaine would be super late (which she was, by the way).
In the midst of the surge of text messages and hi-hellos from each table, I felt the hand of a friend's mother tapping me on the shoulder and I gave her a peck on the cheek. She then went on to present her son to me who instinctively beso-ed me as well. I was surprised out of my wits to see this guy whom i lost touch with for over a year now -- and even more surprised at myself for acting so normally ("normally" being friendly). All of a sudden it was 2002 again, when work was good and we led our lives smoothly albeit separately; when there was nothing (or no one for that matter) that stopped us from being such close friends.
After a bottle of san mig strong ice we were picking up where we left off, had a few laughs, and it was good. When the party ended I didn't feel the need to spend more time undoing knots or delving into the dangerous questions. I bet he may have forgotten that friday night as early as yesterday (and I guess after a while I will have too), but for now, I'm just relieved. I wouldn't mind at all if we never get this chance again. Basta hindi kami galit sa isa't-isa, ok na yun sa akin.
I guess what I'm driving at is, well, if i may quote him, closure is overrated. Time apart really does something good to people whose personal spaces may have unwillingly overlapped. I find it such a fantastic thing that God allows us to forget to make way for new memories to remember.
Thanks.
In the midst of the surge of text messages and hi-hellos from each table, I felt the hand of a friend's mother tapping me on the shoulder and I gave her a peck on the cheek. She then went on to present her son to me who instinctively beso-ed me as well. I was surprised out of my wits to see this guy whom i lost touch with for over a year now -- and even more surprised at myself for acting so normally ("normally" being friendly). All of a sudden it was 2002 again, when work was good and we led our lives smoothly albeit separately; when there was nothing (or no one for that matter) that stopped us from being such close friends.
After a bottle of san mig strong ice we were picking up where we left off, had a few laughs, and it was good. When the party ended I didn't feel the need to spend more time undoing knots or delving into the dangerous questions. I bet he may have forgotten that friday night as early as yesterday (and I guess after a while I will have too), but for now, I'm just relieved. I wouldn't mind at all if we never get this chance again. Basta hindi kami galit sa isa't-isa, ok na yun sa akin.
I guess what I'm driving at is, well, if i may quote him, closure is overrated. Time apart really does something good to people whose personal spaces may have unwillingly overlapped. I find it such a fantastic thing that God allows us to forget to make way for new memories to remember.
Thanks.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
though it doesn't beat, it's breaking
If I touch a burning candle I can feel the pain.
If you cut me with a knife it’s still the same.
And I know her heart is beating and I know I am dead.
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
And it seems I still have a tear to shed.
If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain.
In the ice or in the sun its all the same
Yet I feel my heart is aching. Though it doesn’t beat, it’s breaking.
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
I know that I am dead –yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed
-- Tears To Shed, from the film Corpse Bride
I don't usually quote lyrics as inline text but this one was tough to find...wala sa official site! I got it from another blog when i googled the first line.
talo na niya ang my best friend's wedding sa mga movies na gusto kong ulit-ulitin.
panalo siya. 'nuff said.
Monday, October 10, 2005
lutong makaw ito!
ayoko na nga. ngayon ko na nga lang pinakitang gusto kong manood nito tapos ganito pa!
you know reality tv isn't reality when too many twists happen in one week...then again i had a feeling the execs of that tv network always had a say on any show's fate and a reality-themed game show was definitely not exempt from that -- especially one that threatened to steal the rival network's top spot in viewership.
ako pa naman believer sa conspiracy theories -- mapa-gobyerno o showbiz o kahit economical stability (case in point: BSP is such a great juggler in terms of keeping the peso from plummetting too fast given the fact that both the national and global markets are shaky). pati ba naman sa bahay ni kuya hindi kami pagbibigyan?
unfair. bob should protest against being forcibly evicted from the house. go bob!
at least ngayon nawalan na ako ng interes dyan at makakabalik na ako sa panonood kay richard gutierrez. haay. cheap ko noh? :)
you know reality tv isn't reality when too many twists happen in one week...then again i had a feeling the execs of that tv network always had a say on any show's fate and a reality-themed game show was definitely not exempt from that -- especially one that threatened to steal the rival network's top spot in viewership.
ako pa naman believer sa conspiracy theories -- mapa-gobyerno o showbiz o kahit economical stability (case in point: BSP is such a great juggler in terms of keeping the peso from plummetting too fast given the fact that both the national and global markets are shaky). pati ba naman sa bahay ni kuya hindi kami pagbibigyan?
unfair. bob should protest against being forcibly evicted from the house. go bob!
at least ngayon nawalan na ako ng interes dyan at makakabalik na ako sa panonood kay richard gutierrez. haay. cheap ko noh? :)
Sunday, October 09, 2005
a franzen-jason moment at home
had a very relaxing time yesterday and the whole day today...i did nothing but eat, sleep and watch tv peppered with short phone conversations with p. i haven't done nothing for the longest time, and it felt so good it almost had the same effect as a 3-hour massage. di pa ko gumastos. panalo!
my sister and i had such a good laugh last night when we took each other's phones and started playing each other's alarm clock tunes! it's really freaky when you hear the tone in the middle of the night, kahit alam mo namang gabi pa at wala kang pasok the next day it still has the same irritating effect! actually parang kakabahan ka pa na titingin ka sa clock mo just to make sure it really isn't the dreaded weekday morning! try it once. nakakatawa talaga!
Monday, October 03, 2005
oh, such reveries
what is your song of the moment?
ako yung nasa title ko. gawa na rin siguro nung nangyari sa akin a few days back -- pero dumikit siya sa utak ko hanggang ngayon (this blog entry has been drastically edited for weeks), and i can't really get it off my head until this post is finally published.
don't you wish sometimes that things that happened before never happened? or have you wished for something to happen so hard that it came true (or at least you remembered it did)?
ay, ewan. i'm in a very vanilla sky moment now.
ako yung nasa title ko. gawa na rin siguro nung nangyari sa akin a few days back -- pero dumikit siya sa utak ko hanggang ngayon (this blog entry has been drastically edited for weeks), and i can't really get it off my head until this post is finally published.
don't you wish sometimes that things that happened before never happened? or have you wished for something to happen so hard that it came true (or at least you remembered it did)?
ay, ewan. i'm in a very vanilla sky moment now.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
it's mighty quiet here now that you're gone...
I wasn't exactly hot about parties and reunions at our house when I was a kid and even as I grew older. What I hated about them, though, was the empty feeling that slowly sinks in when you're making your quick besos while saying goodbye and accompanying the last guests to the door and cleaning up after them.
The same loneliness grips me when the boyfriend starts the 'bye after hanging out at home. All of a sudden I'd get some divine inspiration and think about something insanely interesting to talk about and we'd realise we don't have time to talk anymore and it's so frustrating. I'd say, "tapos na yung party", and the mood really gets sullen and it's difficult for him to leave without a heavy heart. He'd call me once he gets home to catch up on that but it's not the same anymore -- much like melted ice cream that you put back in the freezer to ice up.
Last night, I and a few Soulsearch friends were at GP's till a bit before lunch today for his last weekend in the Philippines before leaving for the US tomorrow. I wasn't that reluctant to leave because we stayed up till 3am watching Shutter on dvd, then got up at 930 am for brunch and watched a ho-hum Queen(the Freddie Mercury band)-inspired six-part symphony also on dvd (i swear, we all were excited to listen to it at first but it was so damn kakaantok hehe pasosyal) and Joy and I were more than eager to catch some more winks at home before the racket of another set of visitors packing and leaving began.
A few hours after, this afternoon, my cousin, her husband and their adorable 16-month-old son left for Australia after visiting and staying at our place for almost 3 weeks. I actually waited for this day to come because it meant I'll be getting my room back and hopefully there wouldn't be any bugs on my bed. But I've slept in my own bed for 4 hours since they've gone, finally had the chance to logon and the sigh I'm heaving isn't of relief.
I never really got over that feeling. Maybe the oldies were right when they told us kids not to be too happy lest we want to be so sad soon after. (I thought they just didn't want me and my cousins laughing like a hundred mayas chirping because it annoyed them.) Maybe it's just the moon, or Mars (which I haven't seen yet pero dapat visible daw to the naked eye ngayon e kasi naman ulan nang ulan). Maybe it's separation anxiety or knowing that the break's over and you're going back to work the next day (but it's Sunday tomorrow and I hear it's a holiday on Monday).
Tracey Thorn sure got that feeling right when she sang about how Christmas Day is: it's cold and there's nothing to do (kasi nga naman tapos na ang caroling at simbang gabi at matanda na tayo masyado para mamasko pa).
Or maybe I just miss my little nephew.
The same loneliness grips me when the boyfriend starts the 'bye after hanging out at home. All of a sudden I'd get some divine inspiration and think about something insanely interesting to talk about and we'd realise we don't have time to talk anymore and it's so frustrating. I'd say, "tapos na yung party", and the mood really gets sullen and it's difficult for him to leave without a heavy heart. He'd call me once he gets home to catch up on that but it's not the same anymore -- much like melted ice cream that you put back in the freezer to ice up.
Last night, I and a few Soulsearch friends were at GP's till a bit before lunch today for his last weekend in the Philippines before leaving for the US tomorrow. I wasn't that reluctant to leave because we stayed up till 3am watching Shutter on dvd, then got up at 930 am for brunch and watched a ho-hum Queen(the Freddie Mercury band)-inspired six-part symphony also on dvd (i swear, we all were excited to listen to it at first but it was so damn kakaantok hehe pasosyal) and Joy and I were more than eager to catch some more winks at home before the racket of another set of visitors packing and leaving began.
A few hours after, this afternoon, my cousin, her husband and their adorable 16-month-old son left for Australia after visiting and staying at our place for almost 3 weeks. I actually waited for this day to come because it meant I'll be getting my room back and hopefully there wouldn't be any bugs on my bed. But I've slept in my own bed for 4 hours since they've gone, finally had the chance to logon and the sigh I'm heaving isn't of relief.
Tapos na kasi yung party e.
I never really got over that feeling. Maybe the oldies were right when they told us kids not to be too happy lest we want to be so sad soon after. (I thought they just didn't want me and my cousins laughing like a hundred mayas chirping because it annoyed them.) Maybe it's just the moon, or Mars (which I haven't seen yet pero dapat visible daw to the naked eye ngayon e kasi naman ulan nang ulan). Maybe it's separation anxiety or knowing that the break's over and you're going back to work the next day (but it's Sunday tomorrow and I hear it's a holiday on Monday).
Tracey Thorn sure got that feeling right when she sang about how Christmas Day is: it's cold and there's nothing to do (kasi nga naman tapos na ang caroling at simbang gabi at matanda na tayo masyado para mamasko pa).
Or maybe I just miss my little nephew.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
just hold me close; don't patronize me...
I was reading blogs and chanced upon a discussion on heterosexual relationships in terms of the conditions which each sex role (i.e, whoever may be the "guy" or "girl" in a relationship) demands from the other which constitutes a "high maintenance" problem. (read about it here.) Dapat comment lang ito sa blog ni jowi pero humaba na at nag-error message pa kaya di ma-post so heto pinost ko na lang siya dito.
Napaisip ako sa 100%, less than 100%, at 200% levels of giving in a relationship.
I talked to my dad some months back and he told me he stopped weighing how much he loves my mom compared to how much my mom loves him. Actually, he stopped noticing anyone's level of affection altogether. Why? Because this liberated him from
Sabi niya, "lumaki na ang puso" niya enough to accept that my mom may not love him as much (or at least make him feel it), kasi pag umasa pa raw siya na papantayan yung love niya sasama lang ang loob niya at baka ikamatay pa niya. Eh 77 na siya! Hindi malayong mangyari talaga yun. Katakot diba? So, unconditional, unrequited (to some extent) and indefatigable love ang drama niya.
Hindi naman sa pa-martir effect siya (dahil malayo ang personality niya dun, I'm sure some of you know him), pero siguro ganoon na lang ka-encompassing yung love niya sa mom ko. hindi niya iniisip na wrong match sila dahil 27 years din naman sila at kung ayaw talaga nila sa isa't-isa, matagal na dapat tinapos sa sobrang daming hindi swak sa kanila. And I believe it's not just "because of the children". Basta ang importante sa tatay ko, tunay at wagas yung pag-ibig niya at hindi na siya naghihintay ng kapalit dun. *sniff*
So, for me, being unfair or selfish by not giving as much love as the other does is more of an observation based on one's perception than a fact. If you're the one who gives less, you may feel guilty but the other may not feel, uh, "offended" (for lack of a better term) but may just accept it as part of being in a relationship. In fact, the one who silently realizes s/he's getting less than what s/he deserves is the selfish one, kasi diba when you get into those things you don't really impose anything other than truth, fidelity and love which should be a given? (or "givens" kasi marami? hehehe) so dapat mamahalin ka niya despite that, at idededma mo ang guilt mo unless talagang napapaisip kang hindi mo na siya mahal at dapat naman sabihan mo siya. Pero syempre, may maaapakan kang feelings unless malaki yung puso niya. :)
Natuwa rin ako dun sa isang old entry ni Jen-C sa blog niya about unrequited love.
How (bitter)sweet.
Napaisip ako sa 100%, less than 100%, at 200% levels of giving in a relationship.
I talked to my dad some months back and he told me he stopped weighing how much he loves my mom compared to how much my mom loves him. Actually, he stopped noticing anyone's level of affection altogether. Why? Because this liberated him from
- giving what's "expected" of him, and
- the depressing feeling that he doesn't get loved (or loved as much as he deserves) in return.
Sabi niya, "lumaki na ang puso" niya enough to accept that my mom may not love him as much (or at least make him feel it), kasi pag umasa pa raw siya na papantayan yung love niya sasama lang ang loob niya at baka ikamatay pa niya. Eh 77 na siya! Hindi malayong mangyari talaga yun. Katakot diba? So, unconditional, unrequited (to some extent) and indefatigable love ang drama niya.
Hindi naman sa pa-martir effect siya (dahil malayo ang personality niya dun, I'm sure some of you know him), pero siguro ganoon na lang ka-encompassing yung love niya sa mom ko. hindi niya iniisip na wrong match sila dahil 27 years din naman sila at kung ayaw talaga nila sa isa't-isa, matagal na dapat tinapos sa sobrang daming hindi swak sa kanila. And I believe it's not just "because of the children". Basta ang importante sa tatay ko, tunay at wagas yung pag-ibig niya at hindi na siya naghihintay ng kapalit dun. *sniff*
So, for me, being unfair or selfish by not giving as much love as the other does is more of an observation based on one's perception than a fact. If you're the one who gives less, you may feel guilty but the other may not feel, uh, "offended" (for lack of a better term) but may just accept it as part of being in a relationship. In fact, the one who silently realizes s/he's getting less than what s/he deserves is the selfish one, kasi diba when you get into those things you don't really impose anything other than truth, fidelity and love which should be a given? (or "givens" kasi marami? hehehe) so dapat mamahalin ka niya despite that, at idededma mo ang guilt mo unless talagang napapaisip kang hindi mo na siya mahal at dapat naman sabihan mo siya. Pero syempre, may maaapakan kang feelings unless malaki yung puso niya. :)
Natuwa rin ako dun sa isang old entry ni Jen-C sa blog niya about unrequited love.
How (bitter)sweet.
squirrely wrath!
Was home alone the whole afternoon yesterday and decided to read email and friends' blogs while I had the room to myself. Joy and I have been nomads for the past few days since some of our balikbayan relatives came in from Australia, and it was comforting to go inside my room again and be able to logon...
After watching the numa-numa dance (both the original and the AI version), I chanced upon a skit featuring Foamy the Squirrel and I realised how much I missed this toon! Click on the subject title to select the episodes! My fave's entitled Small, Medium, Large which pokes fun at coffeeshops; then there's also the newest clip called Sacred Space...funny!
Hahahaha! defile! defile!
After watching the numa-numa dance (both the original and the AI version), I chanced upon a skit featuring Foamy the Squirrel and I realised how much I missed this toon! Click on the subject title to select the episodes! My fave's entitled Small, Medium, Large which pokes fun at coffeeshops; then there's also the newest clip called Sacred Space...funny!
Hahahaha! defile! defile!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Sunday, August 07, 2005
faith, trust and pixiedust
The fire has been put out and the smoke has cleared.
All that is left is the ground where a tree used to be -- a shelter from which warmth, security and contentment emanated, and was a testimony to the love of the ones who cared for it when it was but a seedling, yet it was ravaged by a forest fire that began with a small, glowing cigarette butt thrown carelessly beside it.
In despair I fell to my knees and buried my face into my hands; it's gone, there is nothing to save. I held back the tears to hide the loss from everyone else and smiled emptily each day; I wept alone in the darkest hours of night, fervently whispering to God,
let it be all right, teach us how it is to truly love.
And so with faith and a spirit that refuses to falter, we rebuild. It may not be easy, it will take long, but it will last.
All that is left is the ground where a tree used to be -- a shelter from which warmth, security and contentment emanated, and was a testimony to the love of the ones who cared for it when it was but a seedling, yet it was ravaged by a forest fire that began with a small, glowing cigarette butt thrown carelessly beside it.
In despair I fell to my knees and buried my face into my hands; it's gone, there is nothing to save. I held back the tears to hide the loss from everyone else and smiled emptily each day; I wept alone in the darkest hours of night, fervently whispering to God,
let it be all right, teach us how it is to truly love.
Then, from the blackened soil sprung forth a tiny sprout of green. Someone was nurturing such a fragile plant on damaged ground. Only a prayer could keep it alive. But he came by every day to tend to it as I watched from a distance. Soon I found myself drawn to this man's resilient soul; each day I inched a step closer until I knelt next to him. I was welcomed by a familiar face. His eyes searched mine for the hope I was trying to turn away from, and I saw through them an acceptance of divine will that calmly takes the pain but still believes that what has been lost may be regained.
And so with faith and a spirit that refuses to falter, we rebuild. It may not be easy, it will take long, but it will last.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
you'd kill yourself for recognition;kill yourself to never, ever stop
Why is it that females are more likely to attempt suicide but more males complete the act and die?
Perhaps the motive or the objective is different for men and women. I won't go into a sweeping generalisation; neither will I satisfy the ego of some woman who unwittingly shocked the blood out of my system by writing about her (though I think certain circumstances have fed that already). I just can't help but wonder -- why bother slashing wrists when you can hit the jugular at one go?
I just started re-reading The Unbearable LIghtness of Being and there's this part where Tereza is telling Tomas about her dreams of Sabina and how she (Tereza) is so emotionally hurt that she dreams of stabbing needles under her fingernails to transfer the pain from her heart to her body. Tomas hears her out and takes her hands and kisses the tips of her fingers gingerly as though they have indeed felt the prick of the needles.
Oh, how women love physical drama. We'd cut our hair, starve ourselves thin, suffocate ourselves in corsets and get varicose veins from wearing stilettos to feel worthy of the praise the world endows on the beautiful, lucky ones. We'd break dinner plates, slit our wrists and kill fetuses to put that excalamation point in an otherwise unaccented conversation that means more than it sounds.
Maybe I'm just angry. Perhaps I'm just frustrated that the one thing I was proud of having melted like a black, disfigured plastic cup in a convection oven and appeared unfamiliar, even disgusting.
And so it is...
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
we're all so strong when nothing's wrong
Jc, a friend from Hangad, recently had his long locks chopped and got overboard reactions from people who expected him perhaps to give them a profound explanation for the drastic change in hairstyle. To the questions and lamentations he replied, "Mainit kasi," or "Di bale, hahaba rin naman ito eh."
I told him it was different for girls, most of whom I know have trimmed their tresses for a dramatic and tangible symbol of self-renewal, such as surviving a recent breakup.
a few days ago, I got a haircut myself.
I told him it was different for girls, most of whom I know have trimmed their tresses for a dramatic and tangible symbol of self-renewal, such as surviving a recent breakup.
a few days ago, I got a haircut myself.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Jim and Della
I just recovered from an hour-long flood of tears and sobs due to economic troubles right within the confines of my own home. The cries of political protest along Katipunan and Taft Avenues seem to have been drowned out by my own financial woes. I just realised I can't live within my present standards of living.
I'm decently compensated by my present company in terms of salary level; I do get commissions every now and then; my dollar account is ripe for peso conversion (with the current rate, i'm close to getting 500 bucks on top of the purchase price); and I barely reach a third of my credit cards' limit every month (which I dutifully pay in full on the due date).
However, I'm also paying for a 7-year car loan which cuts my salary in half every payday; the same car I use everyday and gas up for once a week; I'm contributing a considerable amount for my parents to use for household expenses since they've both retired from regular employment; I'm paying for our cable subscription that sucks; and I'm probably the only kid in this house who could manage to treat the family out for dinner when they feel like it (and believe me, this family loves to eat -- and eat in style).
I used to think that if I didn't have much money I'd probably lose weight. Alas, I've gained more pounds by eating house food, losing the budget for weekly badminton games, and due to stress. Add to that my recent health breakdown which resulted in buying PHP2k worth of prescription antibiotics when all I had to do was just to lie in bed for 2 days and drink a lot of water to combat the fever and colds (I waited in the outpatient clinic for 4 hours just because the clerks at the ER told me I wasn't an emergency case -- yeah, like having a 41-degree fever is nothing to be alarmed about).
I don't want to think anymore about how much I used to make at my old job which required tons of paid overtime work; that's history and I'm glad to be with the people I work with right now. I just hate realising that I can't even go to Jollibee anymore to buy myself a 1-piece chickenjoy meal because it's too expensive. My resources are not as liquid as I'd like them to be, and my salary just goes from my personal account to the loans, bills and other obligations I have to settle, leaving me with less than a Ninoy to live off the next two weeks until another pseudo payday comes. Heck, I even had to force myself to get a haircut (the subtlety of which does not reflect its monetary value), when I used to love to go to the salon and have my hair styled while getting a pedicure-manicure. And the final blow may just be the reluctant decision to sell my beautiful Korg Trinity...
P told me he was scared of how I've enslaved myself in a "live-for-the-moment" lifestyle. Sana kasi kung yung objective ng "live-for-the moment" was carpe diem; but no, it's more of isang kahig, isang tuka. I feel guilty whenever I think about spending for myself, but I also make my family feel miserable when I rant about not having money while I faithfully credit funds into my dad's account. P warned me about this no-win situation wherein nobody's happy because both parties lose the pleasure of giving and receiving when you know there's not much to go around. We may as well be like the James Dillingham Youngs who bittersweetly discovered how one would go to extreme lengths to please the other one poignant Christmas evening.
Oh, well. Tomorrow I will earn my living once more, and my hair still grows. White.
I'm decently compensated by my present company in terms of salary level; I do get commissions every now and then; my dollar account is ripe for peso conversion (with the current rate, i'm close to getting 500 bucks on top of the purchase price); and I barely reach a third of my credit cards' limit every month (which I dutifully pay in full on the due date).
However, I'm also paying for a 7-year car loan which cuts my salary in half every payday; the same car I use everyday and gas up for once a week; I'm contributing a considerable amount for my parents to use for household expenses since they've both retired from regular employment; I'm paying for our cable subscription that sucks; and I'm probably the only kid in this house who could manage to treat the family out for dinner when they feel like it (and believe me, this family loves to eat -- and eat in style).
I used to think that if I didn't have much money I'd probably lose weight. Alas, I've gained more pounds by eating house food, losing the budget for weekly badminton games, and due to stress. Add to that my recent health breakdown which resulted in buying PHP2k worth of prescription antibiotics when all I had to do was just to lie in bed for 2 days and drink a lot of water to combat the fever and colds (I waited in the outpatient clinic for 4 hours just because the clerks at the ER told me I wasn't an emergency case -- yeah, like having a 41-degree fever is nothing to be alarmed about).
I don't want to think anymore about how much I used to make at my old job which required tons of paid overtime work; that's history and I'm glad to be with the people I work with right now. I just hate realising that I can't even go to Jollibee anymore to buy myself a 1-piece chickenjoy meal because it's too expensive. My resources are not as liquid as I'd like them to be, and my salary just goes from my personal account to the loans, bills and other obligations I have to settle, leaving me with less than a Ninoy to live off the next two weeks until another pseudo payday comes. Heck, I even had to force myself to get a haircut (the subtlety of which does not reflect its monetary value), when I used to love to go to the salon and have my hair styled while getting a pedicure-manicure. And the final blow may just be the reluctant decision to sell my beautiful Korg Trinity...
P told me he was scared of how I've enslaved myself in a "live-for-the-moment" lifestyle. Sana kasi kung yung objective ng "live-for-the moment" was carpe diem; but no, it's more of isang kahig, isang tuka. I feel guilty whenever I think about spending for myself, but I also make my family feel miserable when I rant about not having money while I faithfully credit funds into my dad's account. P warned me about this no-win situation wherein nobody's happy because both parties lose the pleasure of giving and receiving when you know there's not much to go around. We may as well be like the James Dillingham Youngs who bittersweetly discovered how one would go to extreme lengths to please the other one poignant Christmas evening.
Oh, well. Tomorrow I will earn my living once more, and my hair still grows. White.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
By the time I recognize this moment, this moment will be gone
I've often mentioned (and pondered upon in silence) that there are ties that have to be broken in order for someone to grow and move on. You may as well know I've had my share of these -- some of which died a natural death, with a few that entailed a lot of painful effort to let go of. Still I struggled and eventually accepted the fact that the world does not revolve around me, and life goes on and even gets better.
But every once in a while scenes play in my idle mind, of days shared with those friends I have left behind. As I close my eyes I find myself immersed in those moments...all of a sudden I'm back there awkwardly playing basketball in the high school court with her, I'm hearing his nervous voice over the phone at 10AM saying "good evening", she's holding my hand at the bleachers telling me "no goodbyes", he does an Amelie and I'm stunned and there's no time to react adversely as I look into his lovely eyes as he leaves without a word, and I laugh when he stops his car in the middle of the road and looks at me as though he's caught with his pants down.
These five episodes I remember most, and I can't help but miss, because I know they have all gone. Not that I'm lonely, which I'm far from being; and not that they can't be contacted (as a matter of fact they're pretty much still around my social circle) -- it's the indifference in reality that sometimes stumps me.
Lately I've gotten in touch with two of them on separate occasions, and, well, it feels strange to find that they want to make up for lost time; honestly, I don't know if I want to, too. Last time I tried that I just blabbed nonstop and felt like I was talking to a wall -- it just didn't seem natural to me anymore, and I'm sure the other felt the same. But on the way home I remember again how it used to be, and it's such a shock for me to realise how I've managed not to feel anything anymore after all that.
After conditioning one's self to breaking ties and moving on, how does one entertain a sincere invitation to renewal? Is it right to say, "I'm sorry, I wish I could, but I can't"?
But every once in a while scenes play in my idle mind, of days shared with those friends I have left behind. As I close my eyes I find myself immersed in those moments...all of a sudden I'm back there awkwardly playing basketball in the high school court with her, I'm hearing his nervous voice over the phone at 10AM saying "good evening", she's holding my hand at the bleachers telling me "no goodbyes", he does an Amelie and I'm stunned and there's no time to react adversely as I look into his lovely eyes as he leaves without a word, and I laugh when he stops his car in the middle of the road and looks at me as though he's caught with his pants down.
These five episodes I remember most, and I can't help but miss, because I know they have all gone. Not that I'm lonely, which I'm far from being; and not that they can't be contacted (as a matter of fact they're pretty much still around my social circle) -- it's the indifference in reality that sometimes stumps me.
Lately I've gotten in touch with two of them on separate occasions, and, well, it feels strange to find that they want to make up for lost time; honestly, I don't know if I want to, too. Last time I tried that I just blabbed nonstop and felt like I was talking to a wall -- it just didn't seem natural to me anymore, and I'm sure the other felt the same. But on the way home I remember again how it used to be, and it's such a shock for me to realise how I've managed not to feel anything anymore after all that.
After conditioning one's self to breaking ties and moving on, how does one entertain a sincere invitation to renewal? Is it right to say, "I'm sorry, I wish I could, but I can't"?
Monday, June 13, 2005
Saturday, June 11, 2005
when nothing else remains, love letters become paper planes
Boo Hewerdine.
He formed the band The Bible in the 80s which released a minor hit, "Honey Be Good" (lyrics you can scroll from here) from its second album Eureka. I chanced upon an acoustic version of that song on NU a few nights ago and it really caught on. Unfortunately Boo's website only has the old band version which I didn't like as much as the pure acoustic guitar one.
Incidentally, he also wrote "Patience of Angels" for Eddi Reader in 1992.
Listen to his poignant "Paper Planes" here.
sigh. these nerds. i gotta meet them at least once in this lifetime.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
the itchy and scratchy show
was supposed to go to a party tonight, but the hard rain created a lake on our street and my dad told me not to go out anymore so i'm stuck here at home trying to stop myself from giving in to my allergy's itch and worrying about sleeping on my bed with fresh sheets (read: new, untested and potentially allergenic material) which may end up giving me another batch of rashes. and, i just deleted a half-page full entry dedicated to my low skin immunity because this says it all: ***SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH rubbing alcohol AAAHHH X-mark with fingernail on the rash***
iba na talaga mga insekto ngayon, sosyal na gamot ang kailangan tapos ang tagal mawala ng marks. i remember how my mom used to put Vicks Vaporub on my mosquito bites to relieve them tapos kinabukasan makinis na ulit yung balat ko. it made me wonder how the Vicks people ignored this function in commercials and just concentrated on the cold-cough "haplos ng ginhawa" drama. i tried treating myself with that when i had a bad cold and i ended up not having a good night's rest; the balm stuck to my nightgown and felt icky. the "steam bath" option was ok, a la facial sauna with a tablespoon of the balm in a tabo of hot water, but it gave those who wanted to use the tabo for its other usual function quite a *tingling* experience and i had to wash it with hard detergent to get the ointment off the surface anubato issue pa rin sa akin?!? di naman ako masyadong affected noh?
napaisip tuloy ako kung ano pa yung mga products na may iba pang function other than the recommended use....hmm.
sige isip muna ako para malibang at hindi maloka sa pagkamot.
iba na talaga mga insekto ngayon, sosyal na gamot ang kailangan tapos ang tagal mawala ng marks. i remember how my mom used to put Vicks Vaporub on my mosquito bites to relieve them tapos kinabukasan makinis na ulit yung balat ko. it made me wonder how the Vicks people ignored this function in commercials and just concentrated on the cold-cough "haplos ng ginhawa" drama. i tried treating myself with that when i had a bad cold and i ended up not having a good night's rest; the balm stuck to my nightgown and felt icky. the "steam bath" option was ok, a la facial sauna with a tablespoon of the balm in a tabo of hot water, but it gave those who wanted to use the tabo for its other usual function quite a *tingling* experience and i had to wash it with hard detergent to get the ointment off the surface anubato issue pa rin sa akin?!? di naman ako masyadong affected noh?
napaisip tuloy ako kung ano pa yung mga products na may iba pang function other than the recommended use....hmm.
sige isip muna ako para malibang at hindi maloka sa pagkamot.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
ordinary people
seeing john legend sing and play the piano online made me remember soulsearch...para siyang nasa bahay nina jeline, and the lively sound of the keys reminded me of gp and how we all used to just hang around each other's houses and play and sing and laugh even all at the same time!
haaay. memories. miss ko na kayo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was drawn to the song naman while driving to work (which is about a song away from my house)...i chanced upon it on a station i used to listen to until my favorite dj called me a bitch on-air and eventually retired (that story in another post soon). i was contemplating about how difficult it was for me to resist being childish and demanding at the busiest of times for both p and me, and what struck me most were the lyrics -- i was close to just stopping in the middle of commonwealth avenue and shouting, "YES!!! SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!!!" grabe talaga. natumbok ng walanghiya niya. bullseye. naiyak ako nang di-oras.
if any one of you cares to listen to it (you can check out the video dun sa Media portion ng website), would you tell me what other song has that "woh-oh-oh-ohhhhhh" adlib at the end of the chorus? it's driving me nuts and i can't sleep thinking about it!!! parang pang-broadway yung kanta eh...or is it a barbra streisand hit? or both?
haaay. memories. miss ko na kayo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was drawn to the song naman while driving to work (which is about a song away from my house)...i chanced upon it on a station i used to listen to until my favorite dj called me a bitch on-air and eventually retired (that story in another post soon). i was contemplating about how difficult it was for me to resist being childish and demanding at the busiest of times for both p and me, and what struck me most were the lyrics -- i was close to just stopping in the middle of commonwealth avenue and shouting, "YES!!! SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!!!" grabe talaga. natumbok ng walanghiya niya. bullseye. naiyak ako nang di-oras.
if any one of you cares to listen to it (you can check out the video dun sa Media portion ng website), would you tell me what other song has that "woh-oh-oh-ohhhhhh" adlib at the end of the chorus? it's driving me nuts and i can't sleep thinking about it!!! parang pang-broadway yung kanta eh...or is it a barbra streisand hit? or both?
* * * *
Thursday, May 19, 2005
i'd never try to give my life meaning by demeaning you...
i came from a seminar in makati today and had the company car reserved for my use since coding ang car ko. pauwi hindi na ako maihatid kasi makati ang central "station" ng lahat ng bank cars so i hitched a ride with my officemate to qc. had myself dropped off to east ave (half-hoping i'd see p in v luna which didn't happen anyway),then rode a jeep from east ave back to commonwealth around 6pm to save money on taxi fare. the smallest bill i had was php20 and i was near the driver enough to see he didn't have enough change so i decided to wait till we were near tandang sora so more passengers could load more loose change before finally yelling "bayad po!" to the driver.
we weren't too far away from glori's when 2 young men hailed the jeep, got in and sat beside me. bayad naman sila agad (at siniguro kong barya yung binayad nila) tapos andami ring bumaba after a few meters more. pero wala pa rin yung sukli ko.
tapos may inabot na sukli yung driver na pinasa-pasa ng mga pasahero sa side ko till it reached the young man beside me. he was holding onto it like he was about to pass it to me but he didn't, and his face was quite, well, undecided. so he kept the change clutched in his hand. naisip ko naman baka kanya yun so i didn't mind, but then i was near my drop off and i still didn't get my change so i called out to the driver again and asked for it. the driver looked at me through the rearview mirror, puzzled, but started to sort his coins then suddenly the guy beside me gave me the change he was holding.
ABA! akin pala talaga yun!
nainis ako paakyat sa overpass, and all i could think about was, may mga tao pala talagang gugulangan ka kahit parang hindi naman worth the trouble. i mean, that was php14.50 -- less than a burger he would've wanted to buy for his date that night -- though it would've been enough for the return trip home for the two of them...but hey! i barely have loose change for myself after computing all my expenses, so i really needed that money, too. pang-almusal ko rin yun (pandesal at 3-in-1) noh!
at hindi kasali sa issue na magkaiba kami ng social status dahil para sa akin, pare-pareho tayong lahat (by "lahat" i mean all those who make an honest living) pagdating sa pagkayod. sure, some get paid more and some get paid less than others, but we all have necessities and responsibilities attached to that financial state which may make a store manager no richer than a taho vendor.
pagbaba ko ng overpass papunta sa kotse ko, i sighed. hay naku. kelan pa ba talaga uunlad ang pilipinas kung nagdadayaan tayo?
we weren't too far away from glori's when 2 young men hailed the jeep, got in and sat beside me. bayad naman sila agad (at siniguro kong barya yung binayad nila) tapos andami ring bumaba after a few meters more. pero wala pa rin yung sukli ko.
tapos may inabot na sukli yung driver na pinasa-pasa ng mga pasahero sa side ko till it reached the young man beside me. he was holding onto it like he was about to pass it to me but he didn't, and his face was quite, well, undecided. so he kept the change clutched in his hand. naisip ko naman baka kanya yun so i didn't mind, but then i was near my drop off and i still didn't get my change so i called out to the driver again and asked for it. the driver looked at me through the rearview mirror, puzzled, but started to sort his coins then suddenly the guy beside me gave me the change he was holding.
ABA! akin pala talaga yun!
nainis ako paakyat sa overpass, and all i could think about was, may mga tao pala talagang gugulangan ka kahit parang hindi naman worth the trouble. i mean, that was php14.50 -- less than a burger he would've wanted to buy for his date that night -- though it would've been enough for the return trip home for the two of them...but hey! i barely have loose change for myself after computing all my expenses, so i really needed that money, too. pang-almusal ko rin yun (pandesal at 3-in-1) noh!
at hindi kasali sa issue na magkaiba kami ng social status dahil para sa akin, pare-pareho tayong lahat (by "lahat" i mean all those who make an honest living) pagdating sa pagkayod. sure, some get paid more and some get paid less than others, but we all have necessities and responsibilities attached to that financial state which may make a store manager no richer than a taho vendor.
pagbaba ko ng overpass papunta sa kotse ko, i sighed. hay naku. kelan pa ba talaga uunlad ang pilipinas kung nagdadayaan tayo?
Monday, May 02, 2005
"why can't it wait till morning?..."
an audio clip of the original song from Phil Collins' album Hello, I Must Be Going may be found here.
you may listen to another version from the group Fourplay(still with Mr Collins on vocals) 's album Elixir here.
lyrics, of course, are clickable on the post title above.
you may listen to another version from the group Fourplay(still with Mr Collins on vocals) 's album Elixir here.
lyrics, of course, are clickable on the post title above.
*****
"...because that time may never come."
*****
Y los pajaros vuelvan a la velocidad del sonido...
Coldplay is back.
i was just surfing with a web radio on and caught this song that suspiciously sounded like chris martin and it happened to be him and the rest of the group with Speed of Sound, the first single off the new album X & Y to be released sometime this month (so...when will it be available in the Philippines? *sigh*) and it sounds very Coldplay with the usual piano-guitar-drums, LSS lyrics and glue-to-brain riffs. come to think of it, it sounds so much like Clocks, which i don't mind at all because i like them enough to let the familiarity pass...besides, it'll work in their favor as the new album will most probably be another hit.
3 commercially successful albums is not bad for a band who used to be chided as a Radiohead ripoff (well, we've got Keane to cover that department Ü ) and who may as well have gone into the mainstream market with Yellow hideously "revived" by some woman (the song isn't that old to be rehashed!!!!), and, of course, the gwyneth paltrow factor sealed Coldplay's fate as a pop rock group...or, at the very least, an alternative sad-bastard-rock band who has pop fans. Ü
speaking of new singles, i also recently came across DMB's fresh release, American Baby, over 88.3. i almost didn't believe it was DMB because of the many bands whose singers are Dave Matthews wannabes (a perfect example is Blue Merle -- but i still like them! the mandolin sounds so clean!), but i checked it out online and saw the video. Ham nga! Ü
all these new songs made me click on Kazaa again and try to download them -- but i gave up after 10 tracks on queue which turned out to be sample loops of the song's first 30 seconds. grrr!! sabi ko nga hintayin ko na lang yung album e.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
if we took a holiday...
what's lousier than labor day sunday?
a delayed announcement of labor day monday.
the weekend is drifting by and tomorrow is looming without a getaway plan.
sigh.
a delayed announcement of labor day monday.
the weekend is drifting by and tomorrow is looming without a getaway plan.
sigh.
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