Thursday, April 28, 2005

tell me where you're going....

So I got my beach vacation. It wasn't too bad, given the fact that nothing went as planned:

* p and i didn't go with the friends we were supposed to go with
* we forgot to bring CDs to play in the car during the loooong drive
* we didn't get a cabaña at the expected hour
* the resort's pics online raised our expectations about the amenities -- and they weren't
at all
* i forgot to bring another swimsuit so i had to buy one hastily from the overpriced

Fortunately, the food was relatively fine (albeit expensive as usual, being a remotely located resort), the facilities were fairly clean, the staff were extremely courteous and helpful, and we were booked on the day most guests were packing up and going back to Manila so we managed to enjoy a peaceful and relaxing mini-vacation. I would suggest, though, in future visits, that we go on a day-trip instead of an overnight stay because there's nothing to do at the main core (resort clubhouse) and it costs PHP12K/round-trip boat ride to and from Sepoc Island, which is open to the public only until 5pm. So much for the beach bonfire I was hoping to have...

What struck me most was the beach itself (Sepoc island) -- white sand, rich coral reefs with pretty little fish, and most importantly, not too many people to pollute the environment with both solid waste and noise!

Sayang nga lang, we didn't have a tripod for us to take more pictures of us together at the resort. Oh well. P enjoyed clicking away at the scenery (the green leafy or marine kind, not the bikini-clad variety, thank heavens).

Ganda naman diba? See below.

sepoc island, eagle point resort's private beach Posted by Hello

waiting for a cabaña at the resort...we finally got one at 6pm(!!!!) Posted by Hello

main core, eagle point resort, mabini, batangas Posted by Hello

with my new kiddie friends (clockwise from top): ching the figure skater, cj the tikla and yanna with the kuntil hehehe Posted by Hello

another view of the restaurant at the main core Posted by Hello

lunch at the main core ("main core" sounds redundant, doesn't it? but that's how they call it!), eagle point resort Posted by Hello

where's the island again? Posted by Hello

Saturday, April 23, 2005

don't leave me behind...

nice driving music, this old ebtg album...

from boracay to baguio to batangas. yes, that's how my mini-vacation has evolved. and much emphasis on the mini, as it was supposedly a friday night to monday noon thing which dwindled to an overnight stay from sunday to monday (!)

ah, basta matuloy na lang.

went to megamall last night to watch a free concert with a friend, her colleague and p. it was a pleasant surprise as the band Juana, the guitarist of which is my friend's friend and the main reason why we were there, had a nice cute song that was getting good airplay on NU. oh, and by the way, the drummer is gorgeous. too bad I'm straight. Ü

i'm just waiting for p right now.

oops, he just called to tell me his blue beetle isn't home (probably drove itself to the mall to score some chicks hehe) and i'll be meeting him along commonwealth. guess i'll try to sneak in another post within the day (or the weekend).

hi, carlo! glad to know you're religiously logging your pilgrimage experience!(anubaz ang dami ng links sa post na 'to!) personal comments on my email for ya.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

of chariot horses and albatrosses

the lyrics of the song "pretending to care" by todd rundgren (of "can we still be friends" fame) which you can view by clicking on the title of the previous post tells me much about dealing with the possibility that having -- and keeping -- a relationship doesn't always include love as a main reason.

how tragic it must be to love someone who doesn't love you back, yet creates the illusion that s/he reciprocates the emotion.


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

the promise you've been living by is just an empty shell...

just to let those who read my blog know (if you haven't discovered it yet)...

when my posts' titles are in burnt sienna you can click on them and see the full lyrics of the songs they were taken from. they may not all be accurate but it saves me time and blog space so all you can read here are my thoughts...or my opinions on other people's thoughts.

which brings me to another thought my barkada made me ponder on that fateful evening we went to the hospital: we were talking about how much we've changed or how much we've stayed the same and one of us posed the question, "sige nga, sino sa atin yung talagang nagbago?" Not one answered positively, but I sensed there was something in that resistance to reply.

are we just pretending we haven't changed because we're afraid of being alone? or because we're afraid of abandoning those we think need us? or could it be our own need to recognise who we used to be and try to reconcile (or evaluate) our present selves with that?

hmm. gumugulo na ang isip ko. more on this soon.

Monday, April 11, 2005

not for the first time i look back...

met with my high school friends last night in a hospital (one of them had an aunt confined there) and decided to have dinner after at shakey's tomas morato. funny how such dismal occasions could really round us all up -- only 2 weren't there, 1 is out of the country while the other is out of circulation (hehehe).

"have you thought about next year when we all would be going in different paths?", one of them thought aloud.

"haven't given it much thought...i've been walking a different path for 4 years now," i replied, referring to my having a job. all of them are still students.

"no, really, i mean we will really be pursuing different careers and going to different places," she reiterated.


i don't know if i'm the only one who feels this way, but i think for me it wouldn't make much of a difference. i haven't really maintained close ties until late last year when we started IM-ing each other on YM, burned sun cell's lines with its "unlimited" facility (which is misleading, given the fact that we have only 15 minutes for every call), and reading each other's blogs. landline telebabad as a favorite form of communication has become less and less frequent with our working hours, study habits and evening rehearsals (besides, we have the boys to telebabad with too -- one caller is enough!).

talking to them yesterday was felt much like senior high when we had pizza at shakey's katipunan on my birthday -- laughing at the same jokes, picking on the same slow friend, and sharing pretty much the same dreams, while waiting for our food that took like, well, forever to get to our table (same bad service, by the way). and to think i was getting worried about not being able to talk to each of them the way we used to -- what with past issues and present concerns that caught me in such uncomfortable situations...guess it goes to show that after more than 10 years of being together, nothing can break us apart.

now and then, do you wash your hands of me again...

"i guess there are friendships you just have to let go of in order to grow," i told a friend tonight.

* * *

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

if you like piña coladas

i want to go to a beach.

but not to bora, which i have never been to, if only for the reason that i don't want to be where people i see on tv and in metro manila's malls are; developing their tan lines to show off like a soldier's battlescars and gossiping about who the losers at station 2 were.

not to batangas either, where i went a year ago and got hyperpigmented rashes from the fishy waters i had to tread to get to the other side of the island (the marks are still on my legs which prompted me to shun wearing anything above the ankles since then).

and most definitely not when i'm concave broke (meaning, i have gone below flat broke), which i am now.

i even bought myself a two-piece suit just in case someone decides to invite me for a day or two of sea-sun-sand (sail?), never mind if i still haven't lost the 15 pounds i planned to lose since november. i test-drove the suit while jacuzzi-ing in canyon woods and i think i managed well...albeit having a biased companion (P) who couldn't really say anything bad about it or me.

i want to feel isolated from the city crowd and lose myself in a pinch of paradise. i want to taste the bounties of the sea (and not overspend on a kilo of bilasang tilapia) and rest in a non-airconditioned hut while the sound of the waves lulls me to sleep. i want to trace my toes on the sand and see a hermit crab crawl out of a little sand hole. how i'd love to see the nightsky sans the light pollution and write verses on a little notepad or sing to the cool salty breeze while a bonfire is set ablaze by the shore.

haay. ang hirap naman ng walang outing. yayain nyo naman ako.

jen, la luz is booked on all weekends til may05. any other options? =)

Monday, April 04, 2005

still on grief...

I told myself I won't be writing about the Pope's death but it's been death all week last week so I might as well get on the wagon.

I looked at a photo posted on Yahoo featuring the Pope's remains for public viewing at the Vatican's Apostolic Palace and I was relieved to see a recognizable figure resting peacefully on a dais. Even in death, John Paul II exudes a regal, almost divine aura that made even his would-be asssasin (or should it be "would-have-been"?) mourn for him in his prison cell. The embalmer gave justice to the man who was the personification of indefatigable Catholic faith. I don't know if there will ever be anyone like this Pope who made me walk effortlessly from Quiapo all the way to the Luneta Grandstand just to hear him say mass and catch a pea-sized glimpse of him ten years ago.

An article I liked reading the most described him as someone who remained conservative even in the most trying conditions that would persuade one to forego traditional morals.

Medyo amusing nga lang makapanood o makabasa ng mga alaala ng mga tao tungkol sa kanya kasi parang napaka-trivial nung encounters pero makahulugan pa rin sa kanila yun.. and it did not seem like bragging at all (like, "nahawakan ko yung kamay niya dati kaya feeling ko close na kami"); palagay ko talaga lang kasi na malaki yung impact niya sa tao na makita mo lang siya dati, pakiramdam mo nakita mo na si God.

Ay, ewan. I don't really feel that sad about the Pope not surviving his illness; what is sad is the apparent reality that there will be none like him.

are not our hearts burning within us?

how do you grieve for someone you hardly know?

I attended the funeral of a close friend's grandmother yesterday. I knew no one from the family but my friend, yet I had no second thoughts about going. Maybe it was because I haven't seen him for quite a while and I wanted to be with him even for such a sad occasion. It was obvious that we wouldn't have time to talk, but kebs. So I went to the funeral mass at Arlington and to the burial at Loyola.

It was apparent that his grandmother was close to her children and grandchildren, with the long farewell before they closed the coffin. The kids each had a white balloon that they released into the air once the coffin was laid to the ground. It was a nice gesture (though the afterthought of where the deflated balloons might end up is alarming for the environment!), and I must say that albeit the usual melodrama of tears and regret, the family mourned gracefully for the passing of a loved one.

The only awkward situation was me being there.

I had no tears for the deceased; I never got to meet her while she was still alive -- in fact, she was never mentioned in any of the few meaningful conversations I've had with my friend. Even he did not seem too gloomy when I saw him yesterday; perhaps, it was the busy job of attending to everyone and leading the prayer that kept him from breaking down and making it appropriate for me to comfort him. I felt a bit uneasy when I hugged him primarily because he had this straight face that looked like it didn't need any tenderness -- or, at least, he didn't need it from someone like me who didn't know his Lola the way he or his cousins did.

Nevertheless, I think we both understood and appreciated seeing each other again despite the circumstances. I told him I wanted to see him again on another day where, he said, he wouldn't be distraught. I kidded him and asked when that could ever be, knowing how we often met for sad stories and rarely for fun...he replied, "Tomorrow -- chiz!"

And with that, I went home knowing tomorrow will be good.