Saturday, September 08, 2007

when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad...

A new boss was being trained in the branch yesterday and we saw him holding a grocery bag with infant milk formula and diapers.

"For the baby, huh?"

"Yep, I'm going to Bulacan today for the weekend to see the little tyke."

"Expensive, isn't it? I bet you buy those at least 3 times a week. That's why I've been putting off getting married or having children...ang mahal!"

"Well, that's a small price you pay for the joy it brings," he said, eyes sparkling at the thought of seeing his wife and 3-month old baby again after 5 long weekdays in Manila.

"Eh susuwayin ka rin naman niyan paglaki niya!" I blurted out while bookkeeping the balancing items for the day. He smiled, somewhat amused at my jaded perspective on an otherwise happy thought.

But it's true, isn't it? All of us have at some point given up some habits or luxuries for us to savor the greater happiness of committing to something, like paying for the house utility bills every month, or to someone, like a new child or a romantic relationship. We can't just help but wish, though, to have at least one day to break free from the worrying, boring person we have (had to) become before we fall into the abyss of looking at everything as an obligation to fulfill.

Be it an occassional splurge at Zara, a stick of Philip blue menthol in the middle of the day, or a night out with a couple of girls at Decades, it is a necessary self-affirmation that the individual, fun-loving kid inside of us is alive. Going out of your image box once in a while is like a whiff of fresh air (well, smoke spewing out of your mouth after a yosi puff isn't exactly fresh air but you get my drift), so that when you peer into the life you have brought yourself into, you have a renewed sense of engagement -- you commit yourself to it because you really want to instead of just doing these things because it's what you've been doing these past few years. And you go back to watching your budget for baby's milk or just watching DVDs at home instead of spending another evening of drinking and dancing in Temple because it's great to be home.

Or maybe I'm just rationalizing. =)

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